(Part 2 of 3 from an address given by Elle Taylor on June 8, 2025. Published with permission of the author. FOR PART 3, CLICK HERE)

Love for Self

I don’t recall a single scripture where God tells us to dislike, criticize, or berate ourselves. He does ask us to be humble and contrite, but not to consistently feed ourselves a steady diet of negativity. That isn’t His way.

What we truly think of ourselves affects our perception of ourselves and how we operate in the world. Negative, harsh, or critical self-talk is damaging. It is limiting. It stunts growth. And it keeps us trapped in a self-sabotaging loop.

We cannot heal, become whole, transform or become more like Christ if we continue to mistreat or despise ourselves.

Mistreatment of self makes it difficult, if not impossible, to accept ourselves and to have compassion for ourselves and our mistakes.

Mistreatment of self can be a barrier to developing charity; it can be difficult to love and accept others unconditionally when we cannot do this for ourselves. Therefore, it can affect what we think of others and can possibly lead to judgement or criticism of those around us. This in turn can impact our interpersonal dynamics, or the complex and subtle ways we interact with others.

I think mistreatment of ourselves makes it difficult, if not impossible, to truly let in and feel God’s love for us. How can we expect to feel God’s love if we consistently tell ourselves we are bad or undeserving of anything good.

A change in thinking is needed. We are not our mistakes or weaknesses. Our mistakes do not define us or determine our worth. They are opportunities to learn and shift course. Not something to build a foundation on.

Our lives are a whole movie, from the opening scene to the final credit. We cannot fixate on small scenes of our life in which we were not at our best. There is more to our movie than that¹. We have wonderful scenes where we really shine.

It’s imperative that we learn to be open to a more holistic view of ourselves.

I am in no way endorsing an “anything goes” mentality. We should not excuse bad habits or ineffective behaviors as just being who we are. In fact, having discipline could be considered one of the highest forms of self-love as it means loving ourselves enough to do what is necessary for growth and to stop doing what is detrimental to growth.

If not being able to love ourselves is something we struggle with, what changes could we make today?

If it seems beyond our capabilities, is there a friend or family member we could talk to?

Or if needed, can we seek professional help?

Second impact question: What kind of impact do I want to have on myself?

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Lead image by Susanne Alexander on Unsplash

1. see Mel Robbins podcast, July 25, 2024