After talking to you today, I had some thoughts on transfers.

I always thought transfers were hard. They are a wonderful part of the mission experience—I can’t imagine staying in one area your whole mission; but they were still hard.

For me, it was always hard to leave if I had given all of myself to the people, including my companions, having opened myself to love. Here are some things I have learned during and since my mission.

REUNITING WITH THOSE YOU HAVE SERVED WITH WILL HAPPEN AND IT WILL BE JOYFUL

Alma 17 describes a powerful reunion between Alma and the sons of Mosiah after being separated for 14 years. Alma was filled with exceeding joy when he encountered his friends, not only because he saw them again, but because they remained steadfast in their faith and had grown spiritually. Their commitment to diligent scripture study, prayer, and fasting had strengthened them and enabled them to teach the gospel with power and authority. What made Alma’s joy even greater was realizing that his friends were still “brethren in the Lord,” having become men of deep understanding and faith. ¹

You and your fellow missionaries will continue to grow with your different experiences. And there will be so much joy once you are reunited and can reminisce about your shared experiences as well as retell the experiences you each had on your own. 

I found that my mission was just the beginning of many lifelong friendships with the people I served with. Many of them became my “brethren in the Lord.”

“THAT SAME SOCIALITY . . . EXISTS”

Leaving members I had grown to love and the friends we had taught was the hardest part. While I was often reassured that I would see many of my fellow missionaries again, what about the people in Italy? I didn’t know if I would ever see them again. And, in reality, some of them I have not seen. But I have learned that what Elder Quentin L. Cook taught is true: love for the people “is deep and abiding; it will last your entire life.”²

Further, God is full of mercy; in fact, He loves to bestow tender mercies on us. That said, it won’t be the end. I believe heaven will be full of tender reunions because God understands what these relationships mean to us.

We read in Doctrine and Covenants 18: “And if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father! (D&C 18:5). 

In my mind, simply put, how could there be full joy without that person you brought to Him actually being there?

We read further in Doctrine and Covenants 130:2: “And that same sociality which exists among us here will exist among us there, only it will be coupled with eternal glory, which glory we do not now enjoy.”

That doctrine provides a lot of hope to me! As I heard a recently returned missionary say: “Loving others is never a wasted effort.”³

ADVENTURE AWAITS!

Each area is an adventure! Each is an opportunity to see and experience new things, meet new people, develop new friendships, and do the whole thing all over again!  A transfer can be hard, but I am so grateful for every single one of them!

My last transfer was the hardest–the transfer home. I cried as I left the people, the culture and the work I had grown to love. But they definitely were not all sad tears. So may were tears of joy! 

And now, decades later, I find the simplest of advice the most accurate: “‘Don’t cry because it’s over; smile because it happened.”⁴

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Lead photo by Isaac Quick on Unsplash

1. see Alma 17:1-4
2. see “Elder Cook shares the 4 relationships that will make your mission“, Church News, 26 June 2018
3. Derek Roper, returned missionary from the Hungary Budapest mission in his homecoming address on 24 August 2025.
4. So Dr. Seuss apparently never said this, but it doesn’t change the fact that it resonates with it. The most similar quote is from a German poet named Ludwig Jacobowski who wrote: “Don’t cry because it’s over! Smile because they have been!“. See this article.